*Beach Girls*

We drove out to the beach today. I keep forgetting how close I live to the Pacific Ocean. Kujukuri (99 mile) is just about my favourite stretch of beach this side of the Pacific. It's such a long stretch of coast that it always feels empty.

Four girls, lots of sun, fresh air... it was awesome. We had a lot of fun, and it was really good to just get out. 2 more friends came out to join us and we really all had a good laugh.

I didn't know that Sand Dollars could be found here! Managed to find loads of Sand Dollars and gorgeous shells to bring home...

Got a bit of a tan today... Plucked up the courage to wear my bikini today... Gosh I need to work out...

Can't wait for summer to come. I'm comfortable with my body now... FINALLY.~

*Patience*

Patience is something I am sometimes lacking in this country. I've actually been pretty good lately, but it was definitely short last night... But it was ok...

Met up with old friends today for lunch. One just had a baby and she's so adorable! She's my new toy! All she does is smile and laugh at everything I do and say! She's awesome! We just sat around her, had a good old chat and chilled. Just my kind of day.

I need to chill more. I'm in a good place right now. Tabula rasa... Tabula rasa...~

Just plain adorable...

Watch this, and I dare you not to smile.~

*Neither Rhyme Nor Reason*

That Shakespeare knew what he was talking about...
I've been angry - very angry lately. I know now that the expression of this anger is misdirected every day. There's also frustration - the frustration of not knowing what to do.
We can't choose who we fall in love with and neither can we choose when we fall in love. I fell in love and that was that. My emotions, feelings - everything was trampled over. It's taken me this long, but I think I'm finally dealing with it. I didn't deal when I should have.
I feel like my heart's shattered and it will never mend. I'm trying to deal with it now, but I don't know how to do it.
Why has it taken me this long?
I will never get closure... but maybe this is the closest I'll ever get.~

*Life*

Yes, I have no life.
It's 7pm - 2 hours past my contracted hours. It's Friday evening, and I'm STILL at work.
I've not even had time to pee today. (San, you know that's not usually a prob...) But seriously, I don't know if I can do this. I'm desperate for something to break up the constant routine of work.
I'm knackered. Gotta go home now. Making pizza tonight... yum.~

*Addicted*

It's funny what we're addicted to. For some people it's cigarettes, for others - hard narcotics. What I'm interested in, are the quirky things that people are secretly addicted to - secret things that they'll only divulge to confidantes in private.
I don't know what my absolute best friends are addicted to. It appears that addictions are so secretive that they're only revealed to the "one" that you feel you really need to open your heart to. It's almost as if we're making ourselves vulnerable when we reveal that one little secret vice.
I'm secretly addicted to something. I've only revealed it to one person. The funny thing is that this person doesn't know it's my guilty secret. It's such a common thing, but yet... I get such a high.
It's not a "dirty" little secret. I just only want to be vulnerable to one person. Funny enough, this person is not my best friend... and probably never will be. I just felt oddly compelled to share with this person.~

*Smells like...*

Got wasted last night. That's what happens when you work with 50 guys and it's the end of the first week of classes for the new school year. N and I have no idea how it happened. We suspect it was the hectic day, coupled with not eating all day... By the time the Institute social started, I was ready to go home and sleep.
Needless to say... I didn't go home. I should've gone home instead of going out with everyone. My judgement was impaired by the steady flow of alchoholic beverages coming my way.... I somehow ended up in a cab with N looking for food close to midnight... Bad news when the two of us go off on our "adventures"!
Someone smelt my hair last night and said it "smelled like Canada".
How the **** can hair smell like Canada?

That's just about how exciting my life has become. When N moves closer, we're going to be even MORE adventurous. No more excuses. We're FABULOUS!~

*To the left...*

"You must not know 'bout me..."
The concert was lukewarm. There were awesome parts (Irreplaceable) and really terrible parts (Flight of the Bumblebee). But boy, oh boy... is she HOT! I swear, she's inspired me to get hotter... By June, I'm going to be back to where I was when I got here to Japan... and by the summer, I'm going to be in that skimpy bikini I bought with Bex years ago. I'm already down to my original goal weight for the Feb wedding.
N and I had fun. I think it would've been more fun if we weren't as tired as we were. I'm really glad that I have such good friends here, otherwise I wouldn't be able to get through some days sometimes.
It's been a tough couple days. Got some bad news, but got some good news too. Life's all balanced - it can't be good all the time, can it?
I love my friends. They're all really good to me. I love y'all!~

*Irreplaceable*

Tonight. N and I will hear it live.
Beyonce in Tokyo! Wasn't planning on going, but N had an extra seat that needed to be filled.
We love this song. Why is it that all guys think they're irreplaceable? Ha.~

*My Favourites*

Mum brought over a photo CD of 'Ro's wedding and I've been re-living my favourite moments. I think these pictures sum up my favourite moment... the catching (or not) of the bouquet.

The set-up:


First attempt - failed:


Second attempt - failed (notice my shock):


I step up for the TD (that thing's damn heavy):


And that's how it's done.
C - I love you, but I'm NOT catching yours at your wedding. You're going to have to find someone else to do it, even if I AM your best friend...~

*LEAFS*

Yay, Leafs!
The Islanders better lose...~

*Huh?*

I can't believe someone thought that this is a good idea - The Baby Hatch.
I'm disgusted.~

*Spazz*

I'm sorry. I'm stressed. I spazz when I'm stressed.
I live for deadlines. I'm most productive when I'm working under pressure. It's sick, but I love it. I definitely do my best work when I'm under loads of pressure. I mull and think for ages about something, then it's all boiled down to 4 hours and voila - it's done.
The thing that I'm not good at is juggling - juggling my lives. There's the life that I know B.J. (before Japan) and the life that I have now. There are good things about both lives, but since mum's visiting now... I'm having to juggle the 2 "me"s.
I feel guilty all the time for not doing certain things. *sigh*
Guilt. It's eating me up from inside.
Guilt.~

*Love*

Random people from work went out last night and we all met up in the city. We made a dash for the last train and missed it by (literally) 2 seconds. We found ourselves stranded in Tokyo... me and my office-mates. It's funny that it was just the five of us left.
That's office bonding for ya. Here's the evidence - minus Ro. Uh... he was off hunting...
San - We miss you!~